It was close encounters of the absurd kind.
A self-proclaimed “time traveler,” who warned of an alien invasion, claims that said extraterrestrials have — wait for it — arrived on Earth yesterday and abducted 8,000 earthlings. A video depicting the supposed dystopian announcement has amassed 161,000 views, as well as ridicule from viewers, who wondered if he was 1.21 gigawatts short of a DeLorean.
“The Champion has arrived to bring 8,000 people to another planet,” declared Eno Alaric — known as @theradiantimetraveler — in the clip posted on March 23, 2023. The so-called interdimensional voyager, who claims to be from the year 2671, frequently posts his apocalyptic forecasts to his 400,000 TikTok followers.
His latest vision for armageddon, which he’d been “foretelling” for months in various clips, warned of a “very hostile alien species” known as the Distants that are coming to “take back the earth.” It’s a fight “we will not win,” per one of the many videos, which feature trippy cosmic imagery and are set to epic music worthy of a Roland Emmerich disaster film.
Thankfully, Alaric predicted that another alien — dubbed the Champion, whose world was destroyed by the hostiles — would save some of us from Judgment Day. No word as to whether its spaceship plays the iconic Queen anthem upon arrival.
“On March 23, 2023, about 8,000 people will be taken to another habitable planet,” the time traveler claims.
Lo and behold, the UFOracle said his prognostication came true. In the aforementioned video from yesterday, the forecaster claimed that our intergalactic guardian angel had touched down at 2 pm to select the elite 8,000. The Champ then left at 7:30 pm EST that same day — around 10 minutes before the video went live — to embark on their mission, according to Alaric. “The 8,000 have a long journey ahead of them, about 4 years since the Champion can travel faster than light,” per the clip.
It’s unclear which individuals made the cut, however, Alaric claims that the Champions were looking for the best “engineers, scientists, doctors and leaders” for their interstellar Noah’s arc.
“These 8,000 people are what keep the human species alive, from inside and outside threats,” Alaric intoned. “Mankind is a threat to itself in many ways, such as fighting, and causing the first nuclear winter.”
Although this Space Force better be prepared as the Distants — who “own earth” and erected the Pyramids of Giza to prove this, hypothesized Alaric — touchdown in 2024, per the clip.
Despite his cataclysmic vision, the perennial doomsayer told Earthlings not to worry. “I want you all to know that you are safe,” assured Alaric. “I am trying to warn you all of what’s to come.”
Go figure: He made many viewers want to time-travel back to before they watched the video.
“Tomorrow he’s going to have to explain why they didn’t come,” scoffed one naysayer. Another skeptic quipped, “Please let me know the lottery combinations ASAP time traveler.”
One wondered why the Champion left Alaric behind given his “spot-on” prediction.
This is far from Alaric’s first forecast for the apocalypse.
Recent predictions have included everything from a 750-foot “megatsunami” devastating San Francisco in May to a group of teenagers discovering a T. rex egg and a portal to other universes in Texas in July.
